


The One Thing I Can't Live Without

by DisnerdingAvenger



Category: Iron Man - Fandom, Iron Man 2 - Fandom, Marvel, Pepper Potts - Fandom, Pepperony - Fandom, The Avengers, Tony Stark - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, F/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 06:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisnerdingAvenger/pseuds/DisnerdingAvenger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Tony had died in Iron Man 2? What if Pepper had? Two rather sad possible endings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Were All I Had Too, You Know

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for these in advance. My betas all told me that they made them cry.

She hadn't even known he was sick. He never told her. He never told anyone.

Fury and Natalie had known. Pausing, Pepper shook her head. Not Natalie. Natasha. Natasha Romanoff. She'd been a mole at Stark Industries, monitoring Tony and formulating some kind of a report for a SHIELD initiative…

Not that it mattered anymore. Where Tony was, he wouldn't be of much use to them.

Tony Stark was lying in a coffin, and his PA was standing, shaky limbed and teary-eyed, over him with tissues clutched in her hands. The private viewing was painfully small. Tony had no family left. The only people who had been close enough to him to be allowed in were James Rhodes, Happy Hogan, and Pepper.

Rhodey attempted to stay as placid and strong as possible as he and Happy stood on the sidelines, watching as Virginia Potts said her goodbyes. Both men knew this was going to be harder on her than any of them. The woman had spent nearly every waking moment of the past eleven years of her life with Anthony Stark; scolding him, ushering him where he was needed, worrying about him, laughing with him. She should have told him more often how proud she actually was of him; of everything he'd done since he returned from being kidnapped.

Secretly, a part of Pepper had begun to think her boss was invincible when he returned from such a hopeless situation. They'd all thought he was dead; gone for good. While the rival companies popped champagne and toasted to the loss of the great Tony Stark, Pepper sat, and slept, in his Malibu home, awaiting his return. She'd known it was likely that he'd never walk through that door again, but a part of her was refusing to believe it. She had to hold on, because she was all Tony had. If she didn't care enough to wait for him, who would?

It had paid off. When he stepped off that plane, it had taken all of her willpower to not run to him as she fought back the joyous tears in her eyes. From that moment on, nothing could ever take Tony Stark away from her again. He was indestructible. He'd lived through the impossible over and over as Iron Man; he couldn't die. He wouldn't die. She'd die long before he did.

She'd been horribly, horribly wrong.

Leave it to Tony to fail to mention that the very thing keeping him alive was also killing him. She'd been terrified when it happened. He'd just showed up at her office, his old office, and begun to apologize for the way he behaved on his birthday when he keeled over, clutching his chest. She hadn't found out about the palladium poisoning from the arc reactor until the coroners confirmed it late that night, when Anthony Edward Stark was pronounced dead.

He couldn't be dead. He was  _Tony Stark_. He couldn't just… die. He was too smart to die. She'd expected him to invent some miracle cure that could bring people back from the dead by now, so he'd live forever.

_Why hadn't he invented it sooner?_

Taking a deep breath when he saw Pepper on the verge of a hysterical breakdown, Rhodey walked up and stood beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"You meant the world to him, you know," he stated, and she choked on a sob, muffling the sound in her tissues. "He'd always gloat to the boys that he had the best assistant in the business, and then tell them you'd skin him if he gave another demonstration instead of going to the meeting you told him to be at."

"Yet he always ended up being a solid hour late anyway…" she said brokenly, clutching her tissues tightly in her fist as she bit down on her lips to repress the strangled sob threatening to break free.

"He knew it bugged you," Rhodey informed her, smiling the faintest of smiles. "He thought you were pretty when you were pissed at him."

Squeezing her eyes shut, her sobs escaped and she shook her head rapidly. "I was awful to him," she said brokenly, practically hyperventilating. "He tried to apologize to me… for his birthday…! But I told him the damage was done, and to just… just  _go_ … and then he collapsed…"

"Pepper, you can't beat yourself up about it-"

" _Don't_ ," she choked out, shaking her head. "Don't call me that. Don't call me  _Pepper._  He gave me that nickname… and now he's gone… so she is, too. Pepper Potts died when he did."

Taking a breath, Rhodey pulled his arm back, shaking his head as he walked back over to Happy. Without a word, they left Pepper alone. She needed a few minutes to sort everything out… get some closure, hopefully. Both men knew she couldn't say what was really on her mind with them there.

Pepper was quiet but for her sobs, and she could barely stand to look down at Tony, completely emotionless and cold. He never looked like that. It was just a painful reminder that he was dead. People liked to say that he just looked like he was asleep, as if that would comfort them. But it was a lie. At least it was a lie with Tony. Even in sleep, he either had a look of concentration on his face, or a goofy grin sprawled across it. He was adorable either way. Right now he just looked  _dead_.

"It was pretty dumb of you, you know," she finally managed to say shakily, closing her eyes as if it would help her picture the philanthropist in front of her, alive and well, only half-listening to her words as he always did, "Not telling me. I could have helped you, Tony, you  _know_  that. You always seemed to think you were alone in this… but you  _weren't_. I'm not talking about Rhodey, or Happy, or even SHIELD. I'm talking about me, dammit!"

Tears slipping down her cheeks, the imaginary Tony in her head looked up from his tablet, finally giving her the attention she craved from him as she unconsciously reached down to wrap her fingers around his terrifyingly cool, limp hand.

"I was always there," she whispered, her voice, and body, trembling. "Every second of every day for the past eleven and a half years, I was there for you. Whether I was getting you your coffee or yelling at you for skipping appointments, I was  _always_  beside you. I wasn't just your stupid assistant, Tony; I was your  _friend_. You were  _my_  friend."

Trembling, tears fell more quickly down Pepper's cheeks, and her voice was barely a broken whimper when she spoke again. "You… you were my  _best_  friend."

Sniffling, she forced herself to open her eyes and vanquish the nonexistent Tony Stark from her head, focusing on the real one she was staring down at. She couldn't breathe. It hurt to look at him, knowing he would never wake up and sass her ever again. He'd never be late for another meeting, or tell her how nice her ass looked in a pencil skirt.

Tony Stark was gone, and it was the worst feeling in the world.

Why did it have to be pain so intense that finally pushed her to throw the truth out there?

"I love you," she stated with heartbreak, sniffling again as she fought back more tears. Tony wouldn't want her to cry. He'd always hated it when she cried. When she started working for him as his PA, she'd been horribly insulted by one of the people who worked in her old secretarial office.

" _She only got the job because he wants to sleep with her. She probably will; the little slut. Didn't I tell you about those high shoes of hers? They're trademark slut material_."

The bitter woman was fired within the day when Tony found Pepper crying in one of the empty conference rooms. Whether she admitted it out loud or not, Tony Stark was her hero long before he suited up and became everyone else's.

"I love you, so much, Tony… you weren't supposed to die on me," she whimpered with a shake of her head, clutching his hand tighter. "I was supposed to confess how I felt, and then we were supposed to do all that stupid couply stuff that we both hate, but I think might have been okay if it was with you, because you always made everything okay…"

She knew she was rambling, but she couldn't help it. She was slipping into a panic as the truth of the situation became all too real.

"You're all I have," she finished breathlessly, her voice squeaking as it cracked.

But as hard as she tried to will it to happen, Tony Stark didn't open his eyes.

She learned the most awful of lessons that day. Even heroes weren't immortal, and because of it, Pepper Potts lost the one person who completed her, and thus lost a piece of herself.

She'd never be Pepper Potts ever again. She was just Virginia; a broken girl who'd lost everyone she ever loved, and never told them enough that she loved them.


	2. The One Thing I Couldn't Live Without

It had all happened too fast. One second he could see her, and then the next he was deafened and all he could see was smoke as warnings flared before his eyes of high carbon levels.

He wasn't too late. He refused to be late. For once in his life, Tony Stark was  _not_  going to let himself be late.

"Pepper!"

Ripping the helmet off when the armor started to fail from being used too harshly at how fast he'd flown here to save her, he tossed it to the ground and stumbled through the rubble and dust filled air, coughing and hacking up a storm.

"Pepper!"

Why wasn't she answering? Potts always came when he called. Sure, she may do so with complaint and lots of irritated glances, but she always came. This wasn't the time for her to start playing games with him.

"Dammit, Potts! Where are you?"

Tripping over one of the hunks of metal that had tried to kill him mere minutes ago, Tony crashed to the hard ground and coughed yet again. He was risking his life staying here seconds after an explosion; the toxins in the air were liable to kill him if he didn't get out soon.  _Where the hell was Pepper?_

Crawling forward, Tony groaned and felt around on the ground, tugging one of the gauntlets off. It was of no use to him at the moment. He needed a sense of touch to find what he was looking for…  _Aha._  There it was. The familiar milky feeling of that perfect skin he'd been marveling at for years. The skin he knew was splattered with freckles, and looked gorgeous when she blushed; Pepper's skin.

"Pep," he said hoarsely, releasing another cough as he dragged himself forward, with surprising difficulty due to the deadweight of the suit. "Come on. Get up; we have to get out of this hell hole."

She didn't move. Staring at the pointed toe of her stiletto shoe, Tony frowned and crawled closer. Why wasn't she freaking out? If he'd just survived an explosion,  _he'd_  be freaking out.

_Hell, he'd done it before._

"Pepper, this isn't funny. We don't have time for this. The toxins in this air are going to kill us both. Let's  _go._ "

Still nothing. Finally close enough to look down at her, Tony frowned. Was she unconscious? She certainly didn't look good, and he shuddered at the sight. Her hair, normally so perfectly done, was a mess of tangles, dirt, and blood, and her face was filthy and bruised. She looked like she'd been through hell. Swallowing roughly, Tony forced himself to sit up and lifted Pepper into his arms, cradling her head against his shoulder as he used his bare hand to push her matted hair from her face.

"Pep," he said, more gently this time. "Come on. Open your eyes, Pepper. Isn't it about time for you to yell at me about how this whole mess was my fault? I know you want to; you love getting angry at me, and  _I_  love it when you get feisty…"

A small smirk tugged at his lips, and he frowned when she continued to stay unresponsive.

"Potts, I'm serious; wake up. Wake up or you're fired."

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not a twitch, not a whimper, not a bat of a single lash. She had to be  _really_  out of it to ignore that comment.

"I'm kidding," he said nervously, worried he may have offended her into not waking up with the threat of firing her. "I'd never can you. I can barely tie my shoelaces without you, let alone run the company again on my own. I need you, Pep. You know that…"

Slowly, Tony began to panic. Why wasn't she waking up? She should have at least moved by now, or made a noise. He'd gone through this before. He'd kept fading in and out of consciousness the entire time. He'd only been fully out cold for a few moments, he assumed.

"Pepper…?"

Hesitantly, Tony shifted her in his arms and pressed his ear to her chest. His breath caught in his throat, and anger flashed through him.  _Nothing._

"No," shaking his head, he sat up straight again, unable to linger there for a mere second as his grip on her frail, limp form tightened, "Don't you fucking  _dare_ , Virginia. If you think for even a second that I'm going to let you leave me, you're more insane than Hammer.  _Wake up!_ "

Shaking her, he tried desperately to get a response out of her. Something, anything; he couldn't just let her slip away like this. Not when all of this was technically his fault. Not when it should be him that was dead, not her. Not when he should have died months ago, and she should have mourned him and moved on…

But Pepper didn't move. She was limp, placid, and growing increasingly colder in his arms. He was aware that he was making noises he didn't recognize, and it took him a few minutes to realize he was crying. No, not crying;  _sobbing_. It wasn't possible; Pepper wasn't…  _dead_. Shuddering, he buried his face in her chest, begging her quietly to come back to him.

"You can't…" he all but moaned with grief. "You aren't allowed to go… Only I can tell you when you're allowed to go… Only me…"

He was aware of the sound of another suit hitting the ground a few feet away, and he instinctively held Pepper's body tighter if it was someone bent on hurting her again.

"Get the hell away!" he shouted through his tears, and the confused voice of James Rhodes answered in response.

"Dude, relax. It's just me. What's…?"

He trailed off when he got close enough, his faceplate flying up to get a closer look. "Oh, God…"

"I said, get the hell away!" Tony yelled again, and Rhodey frowned.

"Relax, Tony. We'll get her help. She'll be okay…"

" _She's dead!_ " he yelled, clinging to the woman in his arms and objecting to anything Rhodey had to say that begged to differ. He knew it was true; he wasn't stupid. He was far from it. "She's dead, and it's my fault. It's all fucking  _Hammer's_  fault! Who does the moron think he is, breaking a psycho out of jail and then parading his tech around for everyone to see and end up dying for? I swear I'm going to kill him.  _I'll kill him!_ "

"No, you won't," Rhodey tried to state calmly. "Tony, more violence isn't the answer to this. What do you think Pepper would say if she could hear what you were saying now, right in front of her?"

Gritting his teeth, Tony glared straight ahead, ignoring the presence behind him.

"Go," he hissed, for he didn't want to hear another damn world the colonel had to say. He was the only one disrespecting Pepper by implying that she didn't deserve to be avenged. "Get away from me. Take the suit. I don't give a shit about the suits."

He really didn't. The only thing he actually did give a shit about was lying in his arms, dead; dead because he'd invented suits that the world wanted; dead because of his father's past; dead because he'd loved her.

Freezing, Tony looked down at her as a realization dawned on him. He  _had_  loved her, hadn't he? Maybe even from the moment she barged into his office, threatening to pepper spray his guards, just to show him a mistake he'd made in his accounting. Yeah, it wouldn't surprise him if he'd loved her since then. He'd just been too big of an idiot to admit it.

For someone so smart, he could be downright stupid sometimes.

He heard Rhodey backing away, obviously deciding it wasn't the best time to challenge the man before him. Pulling Pepper closer in his arms, he attempted to fix her hair, tears leaving tracks in the dirt on his face.

"You must hate me for messing up your outfit like this," he croaked, brushing the dirt and blood from her cheeks, "and your shoes… your shoes are pretty bad. But you're still beautiful, Pep; still gorgeous…"

Shaking his head, he brought his lips down to his her forehead, releasing a broken sob as he kissed her face over and over, finally ending up at her lips and pressing to them the most tender kiss he'd ever given. If only she'd been alive to feel it…

Slowly pulling back, he nuzzled his face into her shoulder, tears staining her dark, dirty dress. "I love you," he choked out, breathing rapidly as he tried to bravely fight back the hysterics fighting to break through. "You completed me… and now you're gone, and… and… I don't know what I'm gonna do…"

Laughing hysterically, more tears fell. "It should have been me.  _I_  should have died. You'd be strong; I know you would. You'd still be able to run the company, and function enough to keep everyone else going… I'm gonna break, Pep, I… I can't get through this without you."

He could practically hear her response in his head.

" _Oh, don't be stupid. You're the strongest person I know. Just take a few weeks to recharge your batteries, and then get back out there. Make me proud, boss._ "

"I will," he answered, even though she hadn't really said anything.  _Shit._  He was already hearing voices. "I'll make you proud, Pepper. I'll go to every meeting, and get there early; hell, maybe I'll even bring coffee for more than just myself. You'd like that… something about charisma being a good quality in people like me… I'll tell you what; I'll even let Hammer live. I'll let him live with the guilt of what he caused…"

Trailing off, he squeezed his eyes shut as a single tear fell, holding her closer and clutching her to him. "That's punishment enough for anyone…"

Breathing shakily, he hid his face in her hair. He had to keep going. He had to tough it out, for Pepper, in hopes that he might see her again someday… He had to be the man she'd tried so hard to make him be. He had to be a man she'd be proud to call her boss; to call her  _friend._

But how was he supposed to do all that when he'd just lost the one thing he couldn't live without?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again; I apologize if you cried. I really, really do. I know I cried writing it.


End file.
